Strawberry Vanilla Pain
by thinkofme330
Summary: Brooke is a single mother, stuggling after her son receives a devastating diagnosis. Will she be able to raise a special needs child? And will she ever find love again? Hello Life Sequel. Rating for safety. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

AN- First of all, I am so sorry it took so long to get this up. School is almost over for me, so hopefully you won't have to wait so long for the next chapter. This is the sequel to Hello Life. I would like to dedicate this to anyone who read or reviewed Hello Life. This is obviously not Brucas, but I think you'll like it okay anyways. Thank you, and please read and **review**!

Disclaimer- I don't own One Tree Hill. And I'll likely forget this for every other chapter, but I probably won't own it then either. But as soon as I do, I'll let you know.

* * *

Chapter One-

_Autism. _The word hit like a brick, immediately filling her eyes with tears. She sat silently, barely listening to what the doctor was saying. _Specialist, deficiency, risk. _Every word she heard broke her heart a little more. Eventually the doctor was finished, and Brooke quickly grabbed the hands of her three year old twins.

"What's wrong Mommy?" Celia asked as they walked to the car.

"Nothing baby," Brooke murmured, "Let's go to Grandma's alright? Aunt Haley will be there." Celia jumped up and down excitedly, she loved Haley.

"Keith! We're gonna go see Grandma and Aunt Haley!" she informed her brother eagerly. Keith's eyes remained intently focused on the spinning wheel of the truck in his hands.

"Alright, up ya go," Brooke said lifting Keith into his car seat, then doing the same with Celia. She closed the back door of her car and slid into the front seat. She grabbed her sunglasses out of the cup holder, and slid the glasses over her eyes. Satisfied no one could see her eyes through them she began to let the tears welling in her eyes slowly roll down her face. She was scared. Scared for her children. She had pledged to herself and to Celia that HCM medication would never be neglected, Lucas' memory and Celia's life as incentive. Now she had to pledge to Keith, not simply a medication each morning, but supplements, appointments, and an endless supply of patience. The car approached the café and Brooke easily slid her car between two others on the side of the street.

"We're here!" Celia shrieked. Brooke unbuckled her kids, and lifted them to the ground. Keith raised his arms, asking to be held. Brooke obliged, lifting her beautiful son onto her hip, kissing the top of his head.

"Aunt Haley!" Celia squealed, barreling into her aunt's arms.

"Hey Celia!" Haley responded, hugging Celia. "Beth's in the kitchen with Karen making cookies, I know they'd be glad to have you." Celia grinned widely, showing off her dimples, and ran into the kitchen to join her cousin and grandma.

"Not too fast," Brooke said, walking into the café, following Celia.

"Celia, Brooke, Keith, so good to see you!" Karen welcomed warmly. Keith reveled at the sight of his grandma and aunt, frantically flapping his arms.

"Hey Karen," Brooke said, hugging the women who had become like a mother to her. Brooke set Keith down on his feet.

"How was the doctor?" Karen asked.

"It was okay. I don't really want to talk about it in front of the kids," Brooke said, blinking back tears.

"Okay," Karen said softly, tucking a stray hair behind Brooke's ear. Brooke nodded thanks to Karen, heading back to the dining area where Haley was waiting for her.

"How'd it go?" Haley asked, as Brooke settled herself into the booth, knowing by the look on Brooke's face that the news wasn't good.

"Autism," Brooke stated, finally letting the tears flow freely.

"Oh, Brooke," Haley breathed, slipping out of her seat and into Brooke's, pulling her friend into a hug.

* * *

"Bedtime," Brooke said, walking into the den where her children were sitting on the couch in their long johns watching _Silly Songs with Larry. _Celia obliged, climbing off the couch, and heading towards the twin's room. Keith stayed put.

"Come on Keith," Brooke pleaded, knowing what was coming. Keith stared, enthralled with the moving colors and music on the screen.

"Bedtime. Time to turn the TV off," Brooke said, flipping off the TV, pulling Keith on her hip. Keith blinked a few times, and started to scream.

"Oh no," Brooke whimpered, exhausted. It was already eight, and she'd been crying all day. She took Keith to the couch, pulling him onto her lap.

"Calm down, baby," she begged, rocking slowly back and forth.

"No, no, no!" Keith screamed, wiggling himself free from Brooke's grasp, starting to run towards the bathroom, locking himself in.

"Keith, baby, bedtime," Brooke called through the door. She was answered by screams. She sighed, wiping back tears. Every night. It broke her heart that her baby couldn't even go to bed. She walked into the twin's room to find Celia on her bed, clutching her pink monkey.

"Hey baby," Brooke said, settling down on Celia's bed.

"Hey Mommy," Celia said, resting her head on her mommy's lap. "Tell me about Daddy," Celia requested. Brooke smiled. Every night they did this. Celia would ask a question about Lucas, and Brooke would answer.

"What do you want to know?" Brooke asked, stroking her daughter's soft brown hair.

"What was his favorite color?" Celia asked.

"Blue," Brooke answered. Celia smiled,

"Blue is pretty."

"Yeah, it is," Brooke smiled back.

"Time for prayers," Celia said. Brooke nodded. Celia climbed into Brooke's lap, closed her eyes, and clasped her tiny hands.

"Dear God, thank you for everything. Be with my Daddy, and Keith. Amen," Celia prayed. Brooke felt tears well in her eyes as she heard her little girl pray for her brother, screaming in the room across the hall.

"That was a very sweet prayer, Celia."

"Thank you," Celia said. "Good night Mommy, I love you."

"I love you too baby." Brooke flicked off the light, and closed the door. She walked across the hall, reached up to the top of the molding, fingering for the door key. She unlocked the door, lifted a sleeping Keith off the floor, and took him to the master bedroom, placing him on the right side of the bed, and covering him. Brooke slid off her jeans, unclasped her bra, and pulled her shirt over her head. She tugged a nightgown over her slender body, brushed her teeth, and slid in bed beside Keith. She kissed his hair, then quietly whispered a prayer that had so recently come from her daughter's lips, "Dear God, thank you for everything. Be with Lucas, and Keith. Amen."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2-

"Celia, please turn off the TV and come sit down," Brooke pleaded with her daughter.

"I wanna watch," Celia said, barely taking her eyes off the television.

"Celia, do it for Mommy," Brooke asked again.

"Fine!" Celia screamed, stomping over to her chair, sitting down, and putting on a pout so dramatic and "Brooke-like" that it would have been comical if Brooke hadn't been so flustered. Brooke placed a bowl of Cheerios in front of her, and the pout grew.

"I want Trix," Celia whined. Brooke rolled her eyes, she didn't have time to cater to one of Celia's moods.

"Keith, you gotta get dressed," Brooke said, leaning down to eye level with her son. Keith looked down to the toy in his hands. Brooke tried to pick him up, and he instantly began to kick and scream. Brooke sighed, already exhausted. It was just her luck that Celia and Keith both decided to have their bad day on the same day. She dragged a kicking, screaming Keith down the hall to the twin's room. She grabbed a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt, and starting undressing Keith, trying to dodge his kicks. _Ding dong! _Curse that she ever had a doorbell installed. Keith wiggled out of her grasp, running and screaming.

"Who are you?" she heard Celia ask.

"Uhh, Mouth," a voice answered. Brooke walked out, hoping it was no one that would require much, she had enough going on.

"Mouth?" she asked incredulously.

"Hey Brooke," Mouth answered.

"Come in," Brooke invited.

Mouth walked in, taking in the scene going on around him. Brooke was as beautiful as he had remembered, she wearing sweats and tee shirt, and looked like she was trying to hold back tears. A little girl, presumably Brooke's, they looked exactly alike, sat pouting at a bowl of cereal, grimacing with every bite. A little boy, probably the little girl's twin, they were almost identical, was sitting naked in a corner, screaming.

"This is Celia," Brooke introduced, "and that's Keith. Kids this is my friend Mouth."

"Mouth, I don't want Cheerios! And I'm missing Dora!" Celia whined to him.

"I'm sorry?" Mouth asked.

"They're mine and Luke's," Brooke explained, "twins."

"Oh, you guys stayed together? What's he up to?"

"Daddy's in heaven with God," Celia piped up.

"Oh my gosh, Brooke, I'm so sorry," Mouth said, genuinely upset, "When?" he asked.

"The day the twins were born." Brooke said, "I'm sorry, Mouth, do mind waiting ten minutes? I have to get groceries before it gets too crowded, and Keith isn't dressed yet."

"Of course," Mouth said, feeling a little guilty for just dropping by.

"Watch TV, look around, try to convince Celia Cheerios are better than Trix, whatever." Mouth nodded, taking a seat next to Celia.

"Come on Keith," Brooke said, trying to lead Keith back to the bedroom.

"No!" Keith screamed, pulling away from Brooke. Brooke dragged him to the bedroom, and eventually got him dressed. His hair wasn't brushed, but his teeth were. Brooke took him back out and set him down with a bowl of cereal and a truck, and he immediately calmed.

"Sorry about that, he has autism," Brooke explained, trying to play much cooler with the idea than she really was.

"It's fine," Mouth said, "I'll let you get back to them."

"Lunch at Karen's?" Brooke asked.

"Yeah," Mouth smiled, "Lunch at Karen's."

* * *

"Keith, sit still," Brooke begged. She was juggling both the twins in one cart, plus a book she had grabbed at the library on the way. _Special Diets for Special Kids._ She had stopped by the library the night before as well, and spent the evening reading Jenny McCarthy's _Louder than Words, _the only book she knew of about autism, and she knew that only from watching Oprah.

Jenny devoted herself to curing Evan, and Brooke had devoted herself to curing Keith, and had been to library again to pick up every book recommended. Starting with _Special Diets for Special Kids. _

She'd successfully found gluten-free, casein-free cookie mix, and was grabbing as many boxes she could find. Muffin mix, brownie mix, cake mix, not only would Brooke have to do a lot of baking, Keith would be permanently sugar hopped. She'd read in _Louder than Words, _that Fritos were gluten, casein-free. Perfect. Something she didn't have to cook.

Brooke turned around to find only one twin in her cart. _Crap. _Where was Celia?

"Celia!" Brooke called, grabbing the cart, running back down the aisle. She nearly ran into Celia, who was at the magazine rack, sitting cross-legged with a _People- Style Watch_ in her lap.

"Mommy, I need a hot pink dress," Celia stated, pointing at a whole page covered in fuchsia dresses.

Brooke refrained from praising her little protégée.

"Celia, don't run away from Mommy. And we'll go shopping later." She couldn't help but add. Brooke sat Celia back down, bucking her in tight, then turned to get Keith, who had wiggled his way out as well, and was standing in the aisle spinning. Once she had both kids buckled back in, she hurried to finish shopping, she had very little time before she had to meet Mouth, and she was only half-way done.

Brooke grabbed three flavors of soy milk, and every type of corn chip available, before heading to the check-out line. This was where the trouble usually started. Keith couldn't understand why he had to wait for anything, something that made lines horrendous. Celia was still sitting in the cart reading her magazine, when Keith grew tired of waiting. He erupted into screams. It was the first time Brooke was thankful for Keith's diagnosis. She had a name, a name for his flapping, his tantrums; his zoning out on spinning objects. She no longer had to wonder, and that she was grateful for. She was eventually able to check out, and was thankful to finally be able to walk out, the whole store was sick of her by then. She loaded her arms up with groceries, and grabbed each twin by the hand. Celia serenaded the group, telling her mom everything she'd learned in her magazine.

Brooke had never been more proud.

* * *

Mouth sat at the all too familiar booth, waiting for Brooke to arrive. Seconds later, Celia burst through the doors.

"Gramma!" She screamed, racing to the kitchen.

"Hey Celia-bop," Karen greeted, lifting Celia's petite frame into her arms.

"Celia! What did I tell you about doing that?" Brooke called through the door, leading Keith by the hand.

"Not to," Celia replied simply, dancing around the café.

"Brooke, how is Keith doing?" Karen greeted.

"Good, we went gluten- casein- free shopping this morning, and I'm hoping to find a DAN! doctor soon." Brooke replied, hugging Karen, handing Karen the grocery bags to look through, and refrigerate the soy milk.

"Hey Mouth," Brooke said, taking a seat across the booth, Celia and Keith climbing in after her.

"Hey Brooke," Mouth responded.

"Hi Mouth! Cobalt blue is the new fall color!" Celia greeted.

"Wow." Mouth replied.

"She likes fashion," Brooke explained.

"I can tell. My daughter, Gracie, would go crazy over her."

"Your daughter? How old?" Brooke inquired.

"Ten, she's Shelley's"

"Oh my gosh, y'all are still together?"

"No. Not since Grace was about a week old."

"Oh, I'm sorry Mouth."

"It's fine, Gracie and I do just fine."

"I would love to meet her. You two want to come over for dinner tomorrow? I swear Keith will be dressed."

"I'd love to. What about you? What's been going on in your life since high school?" Mouth asked.

"I went to college, started a clothing line, married Lucas, had the twins, and now I design and am a Mommy."

"What about Luke?" Mouth asked carefully, knowing he was approaching a touchy subject.

"Heart attack, about an hour after the twins were born." Brooke answered factually, not willing to go into the details.

"I'm sorry Brooke; I wish I could've been here for you." Mouth apologized.

"It's okay Mouth, you didn't know. By the way, Nathan and Haley- divorced with five kids."

"No way," Mouth said. Nathan and Haley were so perfect for each other.

"Peyton and Jake have three kids, Jenny's 13 now, and Ava's 6, and Caleb's 18 months. Haley and Nathan have Conrad's 11, Jamie's 5, Ady's nine, Bryan's seven, and Beth just turned four. Rachel is married with four kids, Heidi and Cayden are three, Ella's nine and Tyler's six"

"Wow, that's amazing. What about Karen's daughter?"

"She's eleven, Emily."

"And Nathan and Haley are divorced?"

"He cheated on her."

"Auntie Brooke!"

They both turned to see Beth clamoring into the café.

"Mouth, that's Nate and Hale's youngest, Beth. Bette, this is my friend Mouth."

"Nice to meet you Mouth, my name is Bethany Taylor Scott." Mouth looked a bit taken aback.

"Haley taught all five of them that. Rachel almost peed from laughing when Adrianne introduced herself for the first time."

"Beth! Slow down!" they heard Haley's voice call out as she raced into the café.

"Mouth! It's so good to see you!" Haley exclaimed as she reached in for a hug.

"How was shopping, Brooke?"

"Good, you'd have no idea all the stuff they have."

"Mouth, I see you met Beth," Haley stifled a laugh, as Celia and Beth sat in Mouth's lap, screaming with giggles, as Mouth sat uncomfortably.

"Mouth has a daughter," Brooke informed her friend, pulling Celia off Mouth's lap, and onto her own.

"Aww, Mouth! Congratulations! How old?"

"Ten, Gracie."

"Awesome! Conrad's 11."

They were interrupted by Celia's screams, Brooke groaned, and tried to get up to get her, but realized Keith was asleep in her lap.

"I'd better go, naptime." Brooke said, hugging Haley and Beth goodbye.

"See you and Grace tomorrow Mouth," she said shifting Keith to one arm, and taking a still screaming Celia by the hand.

* * *

AN- Hey! Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. Now, before we get into it, I know that treating autism with a Gluten Free/Casein Free diet is a very controversial subject. Personally, I support it, and have seen a child make huge improvements on the diet. But this is just a story. If you're against the GFCF diet, that's fine, I'm not here to debate. There may be more instances where Brooke treats Keith biomedically, and the same goes then aswell. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I would really love reveiws. They mean the world to me. Thank you!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Daddy, do we have to go?" Gracie asked Mouth, as they walked up to Brooke's door.

"Yes, we do. It'll be fun. Celia and Keith are really cute, and Brooke's really nice, she's a designer. I bet she'll tell you about it if you ask." Grace took a little comfort in that, and wasn't totally let down when Brooke opened the door, dressed a true designer should be, in dark jeans and a flowy navy top.

"Hey Mouth! I'm so glad you're here. Come in, come in."

"Brooke this is Grace," Mouth introduced.

"Hi Grace, I'm Brooke, it's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," Gracie said, her green eyes huge, as Brooke led them through the gorgeous house to the living room, where Keith and Celia were sprawled out on the floor, coloring. Mouth was right, they were cute. Both kids had been bathed and were already dressed in their pajamas, Celia's pink and blue polka dots, with ruffles on the tiny girl's bottom, Keith's blue and green stripes.

"Kids, Mouth and Grace are here," Brooke said, gaining Celia's attention.

"Hi!" she giggled, looking up from her coloring.

"Keith, can you say 'hi'?" Brooke prompted.

"Hi," Keith said quietly, keeping his eyes on the crayon in his hand.

"I ordered a pizza, I hope that's okay, I haven't made more than grilled cheese since the twins were born, the only person my cooking could ever please was Lucas," she apologized. "Would y'all like the grand tour?"

Mouth and Grace nodded, as Brooke began leading them around the house.

"This is the kid's room," she said, pointing to a big yellow room, decorated with monkeys. Pink on Celia's side, and blue on Keith's. "This is mine," she said, as they passed a room with a big, beautiful canopy bed, covered in plum- colored bedding. "And this is my studio."

Gracie's eyes got wide as she scanned the tiny room. Sketches were everywhere, and posters of celebrities in Brooke's dresses covered the walls. Gracie's eyes caught on a familiar poster. High School Musical. Brooke noticed her staring in disbelief at the poster.

"You like High School Musical?" she asked.

"It's my favorite."

"I designed all of Sharpay and Gabriella's dresses."

Grace's mouth dropped. She was in a room with someone who designed for Vanessa Hudgens.

"Dad was right, you're cool."

* * *

"So Mouth and Grace came over for dinner?" Haley asked the next day at lunch.

"Yeah," Brooke replied.

"So, what's Grace like?"

"Sweet, well behaved. She about wet her pants when she figured out I designed for High School Musical."

"What's Mouth doing back here?"

"He's a journalist, his job lets him work wherever he wants, so he chose Tree Hill."

"After all these years?"

"Yup."

"Any dresses you working on?"

"Just the usual, nothing too exciting," Brooke said, pulling her ringing phone out of her pocket.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Brooke Scott?" the voice on the other line asked.

"Yes."

"Hi Brooke, this is Alice Freedman."

"Hi," Brooke greeted.

"I'm Adelaide William's agent, and she's in need of an Emmys dress, and will be near Tree Hill visiting friends in a couple days, I was wondering if you would be interested in meeting."

"Of course," Brooke replied, stammering. She was going to dress Adelaide Williams. A fashion icon. She was personally requested.

"Oh that's great! Umm, can you meet with her day after tomorrow?"

"That sounds great, would you mind meeting at my house? My studio's there, and then I wouldn't have to find a sitter."

"That's great. Is one good?"

"Perfect," Brooke replied.

"Thank you."

Brooke closed her phone and looked up at Haley.

"Screw my last answer. I'm designing Adelaide Williams' Emmy dress."

* * *

AN- Hey guys! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! If anyone was wondering, Adelaide Williams is a made-up celebrity. This is mostly a filler chapter. It just sets up the next couple of chapters. I hope you liked it, please read and **review!** I really do love love love them. Thanks!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"Celia, sit still, sweetie, Mommy's trying to wash your hair," Brooke begged, leaning over the tub, trying to work the shampoo into a lather. _Bring, bring. _Crap. The phone. Brooke wiped her hands, and ran to the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Brooke, it's Mouth. I'm so sorry, but could please watch Gracie for a few hours? I have to run into work, and you're the only person in town she knows."

"Umm, yeah, sure." Brooke agreed, figuring Grace could help control Celia and Keith while Adelaide was there.

"Thanks so much, Brooke."

"No problem, Mouth, see ya in a few minutes."

Brooke hung up the phone, and hurried back to the bathroom, hoping Keith and Celia hadn't destroyed it too badly yet. They had. Brooke quickly laid some towels down, and finished shampooing the kids' hair, then wrapped them each in a towel.

"Alright, go to room for a minute and play, I'll be right there to help you get dressed," Brooke said, wiping the soap from the bathroom mirror. She finished drying the once perfectly clean bathroom just in time for Grace.

"Hey Gracie!" Brooke greeted, opening the door.

"Hi Miss Brooke."

"The kids are in their room getting dressed, you can watch TV for a few minutes if you want, while I get them ready." Gracie nodded, gratefully receiving the remote from Brooke.

"Alright Celia-bear, you first, whatcha wanna wear?" Brooke asked. She always let Celia at least help pick out her outfits, hoping to instill some fashion sense in her little girl.

"This one," Celia chose, pointing to a pretty white sundress with pink roses. Brooke heaved a sigh of relief. Sometimes Celia would pick out the craziest things.

"Alright, step in, and I'll zip you up in a minute." Celia was excited that her outfit in its entirety was deemed fit to wear by her mother. Brooke grabbed two shirts and a pair of little khaki cargo shorts for Keith.

"Keith, yellow or red shirt?" Brooke asked. She was asking as many questions as possible, hoping to get him to understand.

"Shirt," Keith responded. Brooke once again fought tears. She handed him the clothes to put on, and went to zip up Celia. She zipped her up the back, and tied the ribbon in the front of the little wrap-around dress.

"Pig-tails or clipped back?" Brooke asked Celia.

"Pig-tails," Celia said, enthusiastically, "With ribbons!" she added. Brooke obliged, combing her daughter's silky brunette locks into short little pig-tails, and tying pink ribbons around the hair elastics.

"Okay, Cece, you're done, Gracie's in the family room watching TV." Celia beamed, eager to show off her bows. Dimples and pig-tails were a winning combination, and Celia loved the attention she got with them. Brooke combed through Keith's hair, and praised him for his good behavior while getting dressed, and ran to her room for the finishing touches. Her hair was done, make-up flawless. She grabbed a brown sundress and threw it on. Perfect. She was ready. Kids were dressed. Gracie was entertained, and she had just enough time to make them lunch before Adelaide was supposed to arrive. She headed to the kitchen, popping in to the den to make sure the kids were okay. Grace was sitting on the couch, Keith in the armchair, and Celia on the floor, all enthralled with the new coloring books Brooke had bought them. She went to the kitchen and started on lunch.

* * *

She walked up the steps and rang the doorbell. She prayed under her breath her dress would be all she hoped. The door opened, and she hopped into professional mode.

"Hi, I'm Adelaide."

"Hi, Brooke Scott." Brooke introduced, her heart racing. She had designed for a lot of stars, but none with such a reputation for fashion.

"Let me show you to my studio," Brooke said, hoping to get things started.

"Good," Adelaide agreed, following Brooke through the house.

"These are my kids, Celia and Keith, and my friend's daughter, Grace. Kids this is Adelaide," Brooke introduced as they passed the kitchen. Addie felt three little pairs of eyes look up at her.

"Hi," the kids said, Celia smiling a peanut butter and jelly covered grin, once again showing off her impressive dimples.

"Hi."

* * *

"So what are you looking for in this dress?" Brooke asked.

"I need it to be comfortable, classy, and unique."

"Great. Any colors you'd like?"

Adelaide had just opened her mouth when Keith came barreling into the room, screaming, followed by Gracie and Celia.

"I'm so sorry Miss Brooke," Gracie started, "I don't know what happened."

"It's fine Gracie," Brooke said, pulling Keith into her lap. She quickly grabbed a truck out of the box of toys she kept in her studio, and handed it to Keith, trying to attract his attention to the spinning wheel. She knew it wasn't really the best thing she could do to help recover him, but she was desperate.

"Hi," Celia said, looking at Adelaide.

"Hi," Adelaide said, admiring the tiny girl.

"I'm Addie, what's your name?"

"Celia. Guess what Addie! I picked out my own outfit today, without any of Mommy's help!" Celia exclaimed excitedly, putting her hands on Adelaide's lap, leaning towards her.

"You did?"

"Yeah!"

"Well, Celia, you look beautiful, I love your pigtails."

Celia beamed at this complement, giggling a little.

"Okay Gracie, Keith should be okay now," Brooke said. Gracie nodded, leading Keith and Celia out of Brooke's studio.

"I'm sorry," Brooke apologized, knowing having a screaming three year old burst through the door in the middle of a meeting probably wasn't something an Emmy nominated actress was used to.

"They're adorable."

* * *

Mouth knocked lightly on the door, opening it and peering in when no one answered. It was midnight; work had gone longer than he thought.

"Hey Mouth," Brooke said softly.

Mouth looked towards the voice to find Brooke lying half-asleep on the couch in cute pink pajama pants and an oversized tee-shirt.

"Sorry I'm so late."

"It's okay. Grace is asleep on Keith's bed. Keith always ends up in mine anyways."

"Thanks Brooke," Mouth said, taking a seat next to Brooke, pulling her feet into his lap.

Brooke smiled,

"I've missed you Mouth."

"I've missed you too."

"I can't believe you have a daughter."

"I can't believe you have twins."

"I wish I could've seen Grace grow up."

"I wish you could've too."

"I'm so glad you're home."

"Me too. Brooke, I need to tell you something,"

"Okay."

"I think I'm in…"

"Mommy!" Celia cried, barreling into Brooke's arms.

"What's wrong baby?" Brooke asked worriedly, it wasn't like Celia not to sleep through the night.

"I don't feel good."

"What doesn't feel good?" Brooke asked anxiously, placing her hand on her daughter's forehead.

Celia answered by immediately starting to throw up, all over herself and Brooke, tears streaming down her little cheeks.

"I should go," Mouth said.

"Yeah," Brooke nodded.

"Grace is in the twin's room."

Mouth nodded and went down the hall, returning with a sleeping Gracie in his arms.

"Bye Brooke,"

"Bye Mouth."

* * *

AN- Hey! I felt bad that the last update was so majorly short so I tried to get this one up fast. I really don't have much to say about it, except please read and **review! **If you review me, I will review you, even if I've already reviewed you. Unless you only have one story and it's a oneshot or whatever, because I doubt it'd be very useful for me to review the same exact thing twice. Anyways, thank you guys so much!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Brooke made her way through the aisles of the pharmacy. Karen had been sweet enough to babysit long enough for Brooke to run to the store for some Motrin.

"Brooke?" She heard a voice call out. She groaned inwardly. She was exhausted, covered in throw up, and had six bags of Fritos in her cart. She wasn't really in the mood to talk.

"Brooke?" Brooke turned around, facing the inevitable. She heaved a sigh of relief. It was Rachel.

"Hey Rachel." Brooke greeted, tucking her bangs behind her ears.

"Hey Brooke. What've you been up to? I haven't seen you in forever."

"Not much," Brooke lied, not willing to go into the details of the past week.

"Heidi and Cayden have been asking for Celia and Keith."

"Celia's been asking for your twins too."

"How about we take them to the park this week? Tyler started school full time this year."

"Well, Celia's sick, but maybe next week."

"Okay. It was good to see you Brooke," Rachel said, noticing her friend's distance.

"You too."

Brooke walked down to the front and grabbed an InStyle for Celia and a pack of gum for herself. She wordlessly checked out and walked through the automatic doors. She climbed into the driver's seat, and turned the radio off. Her eyes were brimming with tears as drove through the town she had lived in all her life. She looked at all the people she had known since she was just a kid. How could she tell them that her son may never be able to live as a normal person? She hadn't even been able to tell Rachel, one of her closest friends.

Rachel's twins were adorable. They both had straight red hair and huge green eyes. In a way they were so much like Keith and Celia. They were the same age. They were both born into well-off families. But they were so much different from the start. Celia and Keith were born into a life without a dad. They were born to a mother who was heart broken and confused. They were born with painful diseases. Brooke didn't know if Keith would ever carry on a conversation with her. Celia could have a heart attack at any moment. How had Brooke's life turned out like that? How could she have let down her children so badly? And what had she done to have Lucas taken away from her and her kids so early in life?

Brooke flicked on the radio, hoping to drive away these thoughts. Music filled her ears, and Brooke let the music say the words she couldn't.

Lift me up.  
(You know you wanna go)  
I'm scared.  
(You know you wanna go)  
Lift me up.  
I'm tired of this.  
Lift me up

* * *

Brooke once again found herself perusing the aisles of Target. She loved Target, she could spend hundreds of dollars in one visit. Celia was well enough to go to school, and Keith had been invited to spend the day at Rachel's. Brooke still hadn't worked up the courage to tell Rachel the diagnosis. She was planning on hard core biomedical therapy on Keith, and doctors didn't usually appreciate that.

She rubbed her throbbing temples, taking a sip of the iced coffee in her cart. It had been a long few days. Celia and Keith had both been sleeping in her bed, leaving her nights mostly sleepless. Brooke dreaded the times when Celia was sick, not only because it was hard seeing her little girl hurting, but it was nearly impossible to care for a sick kid and a special needs child. Brooke took another sip of her coffee and slipped off her jacket, praying she wasn't getting whatever Celia had.

She grabbed a new VeggieTales Silly Songs DVD for the kids. For some reason, kids with autism respond well to music, and VeggieTales was something that would keep Celia out of her hair also, hopefully long enough for Brooke to squeeze in a nap. She pulled her cart into the check out lane, taking another sip of her coffee. Her head was still throbbing, and she was beginning to regret eating a big breakfast. She made it through check out, then feeling a rush of nausea, she ran into the bathroom and lost the entire contents of her stomach.

"Brooke?" she heard someone call.

"Mouth?" she asked hoarsely, her voice sore from being sick.

"Are you okay?"

"I think I got whatever Celia had," Brooke admitted.

"I would say so," Mouth agreed, handing Brooke a water bottle to rinse her mouth with.

"What's wrong?" he asked, wiping the tears streaming down cheeks.

"I can't do this Mouth. I'm a horrible mother. How could I have let down my babies this badly?"

"You're a great mom, Brooke, what are you talking about?"

"No, I'm not a great mom," she sobbed, "what have I done? I don't deserve them. I shouldn't have even had kids. Lucas was the one who loved kids so much. How can I do this without him? What will I tell Keith when he starts dating? What will Celia do on her wedding day? It's all my fault, if Keith and Celia had gone to another mother, Keith would be talking! He wouldn't be spending his days in a blur of spinning objects! Celia wouldn't have HCM. She would be healthy, not at constant risk of a heart attack. My three year old could have a heart attack! I'm a horrible mother. I need Lucas. Why? Why was he taken away from me? What did I do?"

"Brooke, listen to me," Mouth said, lifting Brooke's chin up to meet his eyes.

"You're a terrific mother. You were given Celia and Keith because God wanted you to have them. He knew you could love them the way they needed. You are the one holding them together. Lucas was taken for a reason. Not one that I can tell you, or anyone else can, but I promise, everything happens for a reason. And I love you." He admitted.

"Thanks Mouth," she said, leaning into her friend's chest.

Mouth held Brooke close, breathing in the scent of her shampoo. It was the same kind she'd used in high school, strawberry vanilla. He had always loved her, and today was no exception. He had come back for her, he admitted to himself. It wasn't for home, or for Grace to grow up in a small town. It was the small glimmer of hope inside him that maybe she was single. He certainly wasn't happy Lucas had died; he loved Lucas, and was pained that Brooke and her kids had been through so much pain. But that glimmer was hope was still shining.

"I love you too Mouth, you're a great friend and best substitute brother I could have."

That glimmer was lost.

Mouth stood up harshly, "I have to go."

Brooke nodded slowly, "Bye."

Mouth rushed out of the bathroom, as Brooke collected herself and dragged her tired body to the car.

* * *

AN- So, we arrive at the climax. Please please tell me what you think. **Reviews **are awesome, and you know it! Thanks!

Lyrics by Josh Kelley


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Mouth stormed through Target, leaving his half-filled cart outside the women's bathroom. He was angry. Anger was not an emotion that often filled Mouth, but it was most certainly filling him then. He wasn't sure what he was angry with. Not Brooke. It wasn't her fault. Yet he still felt anger towards his beautiful friend. He wanted two things in this world. He wanted Gracie to be happy, and he wanted Brooke to love him. He had been willing to ignore his feelings, and let Lucas have the girl he loved, but now that Lucas was gone, Mouth found himself angry.

The more he though about it, the less he was angry at Brooke, and he became innately angry with himself. Why couldn't he make her love him? He knew why. He was Mouth. He was "friend." He wasn't hot. He wasn't sexy. He often felt as though people never got used to the idea of him being a man, so he remained a boy. The more he ran these ideas through his head, the more and more he began to believe them. He wasn't anything. He was just a kid, praying for a beautiful, rich, famous designer to love him. He was an idiot, and he didn't deserve her.

Without thinking, he drove to the ABC store. He wordlessly walked in and grabbed all the liquor he could carry. He slammed a few hundred dollar bills on the counter, even though he was fully aware that no money could be spared. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. He was a loser.

He threw the bottles in the trunk and drove home. He slammed his car door, and grabbed the paper bag from the back of his car. He shoved open the door of his house, and stumbled into the kitchen, looking for a bottle opener. Gracie was sitting at the table, math worksheet on the table, and peanut butter and jelly smeared across her face.

"Hi Daddy," she said brightly.

"I made you a craft today during free time. Do you wanna see?"

"Not now, I'm tired," Mouth grumbled, flinging open drawers until he found a bottle opener, grabbing it and heading towards his bedroom.

"Maybe later then," Gracie said quietly, placing her pencil down gently on the table.

* * *

It was eleven o clock at night. Mouth hadn't left his bedroom since he got home that afternoon. Gracie had gently knocked on his door at dinner time to ask if he was hungry, and was answered by grunts. She had ended up eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, the only thing she knew how to make.

She was sitting silently on her bed in the Hannah Mantana nightgown her dad had gotten her for her birthday, her knees pulled to her chest. She was scared. She had never heard her dad yell before. He was the one person she trusted with all her heart, and he had turned into this person that she didn't understand.

Silent tears streamed down her tiny cheeks as she said her prayers and slid beneath the covers of her bed. She picked up the Judy Blume book she had been reading, then after staring at it for a few seconds, placed it back down on her bedside table. She flicked off her night-light and pulled her stuffed piggie close to her body.

She had always wanted a pet pig after watching Uptown Girls at a sleepover, so Mouth had bought her a stuffed one for Christmas. She named it Moo, just like the pig from the movie. She clung to the soft plush animal, clinging to the father that she felt had left her. Tears slipped onto her pillow as she slowly and silently cried herself to sleep.

* * *

Brooke was lying in bed, Keith lying beside her. She hadn't been sick again, and her temperature dramatically dropped after being sick in the Target. She chalked it up to exhaustion, stress, and being overheated.

She was watching an old Friend's rerun, Keith's head resting on her shoulder. She cherished the times when he fell asleep with his head in her lap, she rarely had the chance to cuddle her little boy, the physical contact was often more than he could handle.

Onscreen, Ross and Rachel were in the midst of a deep kiss. Brooke looked at the screen, envious of the kiss. It had been three years since she'd kissed a guy, or even been on a date. She missed the physical contact. It wasn't sex, she could deal without that, she and Lucas had both waited until their honeymoon to be together again after high school. It was the warm embrace she got when she was tired, or the gentle touch to her lips when she was sad. She missed a conversation with an adult other than Karen or Haley.

She flicked the television off, and gently slid down under the warm blankets, placing a tender kiss on her son's head. Her eyes slowly closed and she was quickly lulled into a gentle dream land.

* * *

Grace awoke with a start. She looked at the Hello Kitty clock on her bedside table. It was nine. She was late for school, but she didn't have a ride anyway. She crept out of her bedroom, and peeked into her father's room. Mouth was passed out on the floor, wearing the same clothes he had worn the day before.

Grace tip-toed to the kitchen and picked up the cordless phone. She went to her bedroom and shut the door. She flipped through the pages of her little pink phonebook until she found the name she was looking for. She placed her finger on the line that read, "Miss Brooke" and dialed the numbers under the name.

"Hello?" Brooke answered, as she placed a bowl of gluten-free cereal and vanilla soymilk in front of Keith. It was pretty gross in her opinion, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Miss Brooke? This is Grace McFadden."

"Hey Gracie, what's up?"

"Something's wrong with my dad. He came home late yesterday with a bunch of glass bottles, then went to his room, and he hasn't come out."

Brooke almost dropped the bowl of strawberries she was holding.

"I'll be over in ten minutes."

* * *

AN- Hello! I don't have much to say except I hope you enjoyed it. I know this chapter is a little sad, but I promise a happy ending to this story. Thank you and please **review!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Grace?" Brooke called softly, quietly opening the front door.

"Miss Brooke?" Gracie asked, coming out of her room.

"Hey sweetie."

"What's wrong with Daddy?"

"I don't know Grace; I'm going to go see if I can figure out. Can you please go to your bedroom and pack a bag with a toothbrush, panties, pajamas, and a few outfits?"

Gracie nodded, and quietly slipped back into her bedroom.

Brooke went into the kitchen and found a pen and piece of paper. She quickly sprawled a note on the paper and she taped the note on the refrigerator. She turned to see Grace standing before her, a pink suitcase in one hand, the other clutching a worn stuffed pig.

"Is this your backpack?" Brooke asked, gesturing towards the bag on the kitchen table. Grace nodded. Brooke grabbed the bag, and lead Gracie out of the house.

Grace looked up at the woman in front of her, then back to the house that used to be so comforting, yet had become scary in the past two days. She climbed into the front seat of Brooke's tiny Honda, and glanced to the backseat to find the twins napping in identical car seats. Brooke slid into the seat beside her and pushed a CD into the player. It was Taylor Swift; the only CD Brooke owned that Gracie might know. They rode home without speaking, letting the music of the young star fill the car.

_I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know,_

_I'll be strong, I'll be wrong,_

_Oh but life goes on,_

_Oh I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world._

* * *

Brooke was sitting in her studio staring at fabric samples. She was trying to decide between two swatches. She needed it to be perfect, it was her first dress that was going to be worn at the Emmys'.

"Miss Brooke?" Gracie called, peeking through the cracked door.

"Yes, sweetie?" Brooke responded, turning away from the fabric. Maybe fresh eyes would help.

"Can you sign my permission slip?"

Brooke nodded, and Grace let herself in and looked around while Brooke signed the paper.

"Whatcha doing?" she asked as Brooke handed her the paper back.

"I'm trying to pick a fabric," Brooke said, "Do you want to help?"

Gracie nodded, and moved closer to Brooke to see what was on her desk.

"I like this one," she said, pointing to an interesting white denim.

"Then it's settled," Brooke said, "White denim."

Grace smiled; she wasn't used to her suggestions being taken so seriously.

"Miss Brooke, I don't have anything to wear on Easter Sunday."

Brooke frowned. She was hoping Mouth would come to his senses by then.

"I can make you something," Brooke offered.

"Really?" Gracie asked, her face brightening.

"Yeah. I've already finished the twin's outfits."

"Can I help?"

Brooke nodded, pulled Grace onto her lap.

Brooke pulled out a sheet of paper and a pencil, and the girls soon found themselves involved in an all-nighter.

* * *

That Sunday, Brooke loaded up all the kids into the car. She still hadn't heard from Mouth. Grace was dressed in the dress they had spent so much time making. It was a beautiful magenta color, with spaghetti straps and a pretty ruffled bib-front. They had gone shopping the day earlier, and had bought her a pair of strappy-white sandals, with just enough of a heel to make Gracie feel like a grown-up.

Celia and Keith were, of course, matching. Brooke had made Celia a pretty sleeve-less floral dress, with a green bow, that perfectly matched the one Brooke was wearing. She had curled her hair, and pulled it up into a half-ponytail with a huge white bow. Keith was wearing a little green polo that perfectly matched Celia's dress, and a tiny pair of khakis.

She dropped the kids off at Sunday school then climbed into her car and drove to Mouth's house. She walked through the open door and found him passed out on the couch.

"Hey," she said loudly. Mouth didn't stir.

"Hey!" she yelled, lightly kicking him.

Mouth slowly opened his eyes to find a very pissed off Brooke standing in front of him.

"Good, you're up," she started.

"I don't know what the hell is wrong with you, but you'd better get over yourself and start being a father again."

Mouth forced himself to sit up, but didn't respond.

"You have a heart broken daughter at church right now. Or maybe not, because if you don't start treating her the way she deserves I'll call social services, and she won't be yours anymore. But I guess I needn't mind calling, she already lives with me.

"Gracie is a beautiful child, and I love having her around. I can't imagine the kind of scum that gains her trust then comes home one night and stops feeding her, and putting her to bed.

"So please Mouth, get over whatever's going on with you, because Grace needs you. And because, well, I need you too."

Mouth sat and let the words sink in.

"You need me?" he asked pathetically.

Brooke nodded, her mascara pouring down her face.

"I need you too Brooke."

He pulled himself off the couch, and pulled his friend into a hug.

"I love you Brooke," Mouth said.

"I love you too Mouth," she replied.

He caught her gaze, and then slowly but surely, placed a light kiss on her lips. Brooke stepped back shocked, then, as she looked the boy that had always loved her, she began to see a man. She caught his glance, and pulled his lips to her own. They stood in the middle of his living room for a hour, kissing until they ran out of breath.

_I know it's hard on a rainy day  
you want to shut the world out and just be left alone  
But don't run out on your faith_

_'Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand  
What you've been up there searching for  
forever is in your hands  
When you figure out love is all that matters after all  
It sure makes everything else  
seem so small_

* * *

AN- Hello! Just to let you know, I'm not a huge Brooke/Mouth fan, but it just felt right in this story. The Scotts' Easter outfits are from the Portrait of Spring Collection by Hanna Andersson. So you can go on their website to check them out. The lyrics are A Place in This World by Taylor Swift and So Small by Carrie Underwood. Thanks for the reviews! Speaking of **reviews**, I would really love some! They really do make me update faster. Thanks!


	8. Epilouge

**Epilogue:**

"Mommy!" Celia yelled, slamming her tiny body into Brooke's arms. Brooke wrapped her arms around her little girl, kissing her chubby little cheeks. Brooke stood up, Celia in tow, and hugged Karen and Keith.

"How was the honeymoon Brooke?" Karen asked, as Brooke pulled Keith onto her free hip, kissing his equally chubby cheeks.

"It was great. The food was good, the islands were beautiful, and the weather was perfect."

"Hey Brooke," Gracie piped up, still clutching Karen's hand.

"Hey supermodel! I didn't see you!" Brooke exclaimed, attempting to hug her new step-daughter with two four year olds in her arms.

"Where's Daddy?"

"He's getting the bags," Brooke explained as Mouth walked towards the group trying to carry a weeks worth of Brooke's clothes, not to mention the entire bag of souvenirs that Brooke had insisted on buying

"Keith want snack," Keith spoke up, wiggling out of Brooke's embrace. Karen pulled out a bag of gluten and casein free cookies and handed them to her grandson.

Brooke grinned. She was so proud of Keith. It had been a year since his diagnosis, and he was now speaking in complete sentences. He still wasn't anywhere near a typical child, but Brooke was beginning to learn about who her son was outside of autism, and that was a huge start.

It had been a long journey for Brooke, and her life was no where near where she had planned to be when she was thirty. But she was happy. She had love, and two beautiful children, and she had the strength that she'd acquired over the past five years. And she knew that strength would carry her and her children wherever life took them.

_God put us here on this carnival ride  
We close our eyes  
Never knowing where it will take us next  
Babies are born and at the same time, someone's taking their last breath_

_It's the wheel of the world  
It's the wheel of the world turning around_

_In the blink of an eye  
It can change your life  
And it never even slows down_

_It's the wheel of the world_

* * *

AN- Wow. I can't believe this story is finished. It feels like I've been writing these characters forever. Thank you all so much for reading. Thanks to all the die-hard Brucas fans who stuck with me. I hope the epilouge really made it clear that the story wasn't about Brooke and Mouth's romance, it was about Brooke moving on. I'd like to thank **Manda** (moonman) for reviewing so faithfully Hello Life as well as Strawberry Vanilla Pain. Manda, you are awesome. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I don't have any thing else planned for this series, but you never know. I'd like to remind you that there is a one shot up from this series that is set around the same time as Strawberry Vanilla Pain. Thanks to all the artists whose lyrics I used, they add so much to the material. PS- the lyrics from the epilouge are by Carrie Underwood.

On a more somber note, autism hits **1 in every 150 kids**. That's a lot of kids. Some signs of autism include but aren't limited to lack of eye contact, lack of play and social skills, lack or loss of language, and self-stimulatory behaviors, such as arm flapping. Basically, it locks you into a world of your own. The best way you can help is to educate yourself and the people around you. I'd like to pimp out Jenny McCarthy's book _Louder than Words _one more time. It's very educational, and really easy to read. Also check out t a c a n o w. c o m (take out the spaces). They have almost anything you'd ever want to know about autism in one website. There's a ton of information out there if you look for it.

Back to stories, I'm working on a new one right now, I'm not totally sure when it will be up, I don't like posting stories until they are complete. Hopefully it will be up by mid-summer. Thank you all so much. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, or added me to Story Alert, or Favorite Story, that means everything to me. You guys are awesome.

PS- I love reviews!!


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